10 Therapist-Approved Ways to Set Boundaries Around Political Conversations with Friends and Family

Navigating political conversations with friends and family can be challenging, especially when opinions differ significantly. Although staying informed and discussing current events can be beneficial, it’s equally important to recognize when these discussions become unproductive, detrimental to your mental health, or just plain unsafe. Setting boundaries around political conversations can help maintain healthy relationships, safety, and preserve personal well-being during already challenging times.

Why is Setting Boundaries Important?

Engaging in political conversations can sometimes lead to heated debates, stress or anxiety, and tension within relationships. Moreover, it is easy for discussions to escalate into arguments, causing strain and discomfort. In this way, setting boundaries helps in:

• Maintaining Relationships: Ensuring that differing opinions do not damage relationships with loved ones. That being said, if someone’s “opinion” is in direct opposition to your autonomy, safety, and rights, you may also wish to further consider if maintaining this relationship is in your best interests. Maintaining, as well as ending, relationships can take a great deal of energy and come with many conflicting emotions.
• Protecting Mental Health: Reducing stress and anxiety associated with contentious debates. It is one thing to have a respectful, educated, informed conversation about certain topics. However, “conversations” can quickly devolve into name-calling, personal attacks on character, and can lead to feelings of stress, anger, anxiety, depression, worry, loneliness, and impact self-esteem. Setting boundaries around the time, place, or frequency of political conversations can be protective for one’s mental health.
• Preserving Personal Peace: Creating a safe space where you can retreat from constant political and election related news. Political opinions and election related news, advertisements, mistruths, propaganda, polls, and more are everywhere: TV, podcast ads, radio, newspapers, Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and X (formerly known as Twitter). Heck, I was sitting in a coffee shop the other day and two separate tables were talking politics! We need a break. Our nervous systems need a break. We need to create space, time, and breaks from the constant inundation of political and election related news. This might mean setting a hard boundary with friends and family around time spent together, and asking that it be a politics-free space.

How to Set Boundaries

1. Identify Your Limits: Reflect on what topics or situations make you uncomfortable or stressed. Knowing your limits is the first step in setting boundaries.
2. Communicate Clearly: Use direct and respectful communication to express your need for boundaries. Be honest about why you are setting these limits.
3. Be Consistent: Consistency reinforces your boundaries and shows others that you are serious about maintaining them.
4. Use “I” Statements: Frame your boundaries around your feelings and needs. For example, “I feel stressed when we talk about politics; I do not want to discuss them while we are together.”
5. Prepare Responses: Have a few responses ready for when political topics arise. Say them aloud to yourself a few times, so that you can feel more confident and comfortable in asserting your boundaries needed.
6. Offer Alternatives: Suggest other topics of conversation or activities to engage in together.
7. Stay Calm: Keep your tone neutral and composed, even if the other person becomes emotional or defensive.
8. Seek Support: If necessary, seek support from a therapist in North Carolina to develop strategies for setting and maintaining boundaries.
9. Respect Others’ Boundaries: Show the same respect for others’ boundaries that you expect for your own.
10. Know When to Walk Away: If a conversation becomes too heated, disrespectful, or feels in any way physically or emotionally unsafe, you can absolutely walk away or hang up the phone in order to protect your own mental health.

Examples of Politely Declining Political Conversations

1. Direct Approach: “I appreciate your interest in discussing this, but I prefer not to talk about politics.”
2. Redirecting the Conversation: “Let’s catch up on something else. How have you been?”
3. Setting Time Limits: “I can discuss this for 10 minutes, but then I’d like to move on to another topic.”
4. Expressing Personal Impact: “Political discussions stress me out, and I’d like to avoid them right now.”
5. Suggesting Alternatives: “Can we talk about something lighter? I’ve been reading a great book lately.”
6. Using Humor: “Let’s not ruin a good time with politics! How about that latest movie?”
7. Focusing on Common Interests: “We have different views, but we both love hiking. Let’s plan our next trip.”
8. Acknowledging and Redirecting: “I understand this is important to you, but let’s save it for another time?”
9. Expressing Disinterest: “I’m not up for a political debate. Let’s discuss something else?”
10. Setting Firm Boundaries: “I value our relationship and don’t want to argue about politics. Let’s agree to disagree.”

Keeping in mind that some topics go far beyond “political differences” or “differences of opinions” and impact a person’s sense of safety, autonomy, and potentially their life. In these cases, individuals can and should set boundaries relating to engaging in, or disengaging from, that relationship in whatever way makes most sense for them. As there are always so many personal factors to weigh, only you can make that decision; however, a therapist in North Carolina can help you weigh out your options and can certainly support you in practicing, implementing, and maintaining the boundaries that you choose for yourself.

Consider Therapy with Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting

Setting and maintaining boundaries can be difficult, especially with those closest to us. If you find yourself struggling to navigate these conversations or if they are impacting your mental health, consider reaching out for professional support. At Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting, our team of North Carolina mental health clinicians take pride in providing trauma-informed, affirming care. Our experienced North Carolina therapists can help you develop effective strategies for setting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships.

Take the first step towards a healthier, more balanced life. Self-schedule a free 20-minute consultation with one of our skilled therapists today. You can also email info@beboldpsychnc.com or text/call 919-525-1873 to schedule or learn more!

Let’s work together in creating spaces and relationships that protect and support your mental health and wellness!