How Therapy in Durham NC and Virtual Therapy in North Carolina Can Help

If you’re constantly holding yourself to impossibly high standards, double-checking everything, and feeling anxious even when things seem “fine”, you might be caught in the anxiety-perfectionism cycle. This cycle is exhausting and unsustainable, but you don’t have to stay stuck in it. Therapy in Durham, NC and virtual therapy across North Carolina can help you break free, build healthier patterns, and feel more grounded.

What Is the Anxiety-Perfectionism Cycle?

Anxiety and perfectionism often fuel each other in a self-defeating loop:

• You feel anxious about doing well or being liked.
• You raise the bar and strive for perfection.
• When perfection isn’t achieved (because it’s not realistic), the anxiety increases.
• You self-criticize, push harder, or shut down.
• You say unkind things to yourself about not being enough, not being good enough, or always being a failure.
• The cycle starts again.

This pattern is common in high-achievers, people-pleasers, trauma survivors, and young adults in transition. Therapy in Durham NC and across the state of North Carolina can help you understand and disrupt these patterns.

Understanding the Deeper Layers of Anxiety and Perfectionism

Many people with anxiety also carry a deep, often hidden fear of making mistakes or disappointing others. This fear isn’t just uncomfortable, it can drive entire patterns of behavior that feel impossible to change.

What Perfectionism Can Look Like

Perfectionism isn’t always about having a spotless house or straight-A’s on report cards. It can show up in other sneaky, exhausting ways:

• Procrastinating because you’re afraid you’ll do it wrong
• Overpreparing and spending hours rechecking your work
• Avoiding new things or things you really might love because you might not be “good enough”
• People-pleasing and struggling to say no or set values-aligned boundaries
• Overfunctioning and taking on more than your fair share, leaving you exhausted or resentful
• Constant self-doubt and second-guessing your decisions and ruminative thoughts on what you could have done differently

These behaviors may seem like personal flaws, but they are not. They’re often coping strategies rooted in anxiety, trauma, and unmet needs for safety or acceptance.

Where Does the Fear of Doing Things Wrong Come From?

For many, this fear isn’t random. It comes from real experiences. You might be responding to:

• Childhood messages like “Don’t mess up,” “You have to be the best,” or “Mistakes aren’t acceptable”
• Cultural or family pressure to achieve or keep things together
• Living in a marginalized body or identity (e.g., being neurodivergent, LGBTQIA+, BIPOC) and feeling as though you need to mask or work harder to ensure some semblance of safety or acceptance
• Past trauma or rejection, especially from authority figures or peers
• Academic or career settings where success is linked to worth

Trying to be perfect may feel like the only way to stay safe, belong, or be loved—but it comes at the cost of authenticity, rest, and joy.

How Anxiety Therapy in Durham NC and Across North Carolina Helps

Working with a trauma-informed, affirming therapist like Dr. Beata Krembuszewski at Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting can help you shift out of the perfectionism-anxiety cycle and find a healthier way forward.

Explore the Root Cause

Perfectionism often begins in childhood or during times of stress or trauma. Therapy can help you identify where this pattern started and give you the tools to let go of unhelpful beliefs.

Learn to Sit with Discomfort

Avoiding discomfort is a key driver of perfectionism. Therapy helps you build distress tolerance so you don’t feel like you have to perform or achieve to feel safe.

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

That “not good enough” voice in your head? Therapy helps you reframe it, quiet it, or just plain tell it to shut the hell up – building more self-compassion and realistic expectations.

Shift From All-or-Nothing Thinking

Perfectionism thrives in extremes. Therapy can help you build flexibility, allowing room for mistakes, rest, and growth – not just achievement.

Set Boundaries Without Guilt

Therapy in Durham NC helps you get clear on what matters to you. You’ll practice saying no, setting limits, and conserving your energy for what really matters.

Meet Dr. Beata: Providing Therapy in Durham and Telehealth Across NC and VA

Dr. Beata Krembuszewski (she) is a trauma-informed psychologist who supports clients of all ages—children, teens, and adults—in Durham NC, across North Carolina, and in Virginia.

She offers therapy that is:

• LGBTQIA+ celebratory
• Warm and supportive
• Grounded in clinical expertise and empirically supported treatment approaches
• Focused on helping clients manage anxiety, perfectionism, trauma, substance use, life transitions, and grief

Current Availability

Mondays: 9am-6pm – Virtual

Tuesdays: 10am- 7pm Virtual

Wednesdays: 10am-8pm – In person at our Durham therapy office!

Thursdays: 8am – 5pm – Virtual

Her in-person office is conveniently located near Southpoint Mall in Durham, NC.

Who Might Benefit from Therapy with Dr. Beata?

• Teens overwhelmed by academic pressure or burnout
• Adults who feel like they must “do it all” to be worthy
• Parents navigating perfectionism while juggling responsibilities
• College students or young professionals in transition
• Anyone struggling with anxiety, trauma, or identity stressors

Start Therapy for Anxiety in Durham NC or Anywhere in North Carolina or Virginia

You don’t have to keep pushing through alone. Therapy can help you get unstuck, find clarity, and build a life that feels more balanced- and more you.

Ready to get started? Schedule a free 20-minute consult with Dr. Beata today:

• Self-schedule online – we have evening appointments if needed!
• Email: info@beboldpsychnc.com
• Text or Call: 919-525-1873
• Learn more about Dr. Beata here