Grief doesn’t come with a roadmap. It can show up unexpectedly and linger far longer and in ways you do not expect. Sometimes it’s the loss of a loved one. Other times, it’s a change in identity, a relationship ending, or the quiet sadness that follows a big life transition. No matter the reason, grief can make daily life feel foreign and exhausting.
At Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting, we believe that naming grief and making space for it is essential to healing.. Here, we’ll discuss what grief really feels like, why self-compassion matters, and how rituals can help restore a sense of connection. Your experience doesn’t need to match anyone else’s, and talking about it can help make it less lonely.
We provide in-person therapy for adolescents and teens in Durham, North Carolina and virtual support across North Carolina, Virginia, and South Carolina. When grief touches your life, you don’t have to carry it alone.
What Grief Can Actually Look Like
Grief often shows up in ways that surprise us. It does not follow fixed stages or a universal timeline. Grief is rarely neat or predictable. On some days, you might feel stready enough to keep moving through routines. On others, brushing your teeth might feel impossible.
You might notice grief showing up in your whole body, mind, and emotions.
Common experiences of grief include:
– Emotional: sadness, anger, irritability, guilt, relief, or numbness
– Physical: fatigue, disrupted sleep, headaches, or appetite changes
– Cognitive: trouble focusing, forgetfulness, or intrusive thoughts
– Behavioral: withdrawing from others, restlessness, difficulty completing tasks
Grief doesn’t just live in your feelings. It can affect your body, your thoughts, and the way you move through the day. Your version of grief is allowed. There’s no right timeline or checklist you need to finish.
Grief Isn’t a Straight Line
Grief can come and go in waves. Some people feel it all at once. Others feel mostly numb for a while and then find emotions come back many months later. Grief can come withtcertain dates, seasons, or memories. You may think you’ve adjusted, and then a song or a holiday brings back everything. You may be eating breakfast at a restaurant, and seeing a mother and daughter feels too much. Maybe you see a couple driving and laughing together, and it hits you suddenly. It can be a sight, a smell, or even a facial expression.
Grief can circle back even after periods of calm. It can shift from heavy and intense to quiet and background and then return again. This doesn’t mean you aren’t healing. Being hit with feelings again is normal. You’re simply still connected to what you’ve lost. That’s part of being human.
Healing from grief doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to live alongside it, with compassion and understanding for yourself along the way.
Ways to Help Teens Cope With Grief That Actually Help
Grief can feel confusing and unpredictable, especially for teens. You might swing between feeling fine one minute and overwhelmed the next — that’s normal. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are ways to help you feel supported and less alone as you move through it.
Here are some ideas that teens often find meaningful:
1. Create a Memory Box or Journal
Making something tangible can help when words are hard to find. Try gathering photos, ticket stubs, drawings, or small objects that remind you of the person, pet, or experience you’re grieving.
- You can decorate a box or journal in your own style. Paint it, doodle on it, or cover it in stickers.
- Add to it when you feel ready.
- You don’t have to open it every day, or at all. But it’s there for when you need connection or comfort.
If journaling feels better, try writing letters to the person you miss, or jot down what you wish you could say. This kind of creative expression gives grief a place to live outside of your body.
2. Use Art to Express What You Feel
Sometimes grief doesn’t fit neatly into words, and that’s okay. Art, music, and movement can help you express what’s too big to say.
You might:
- Create a playlist of songs that remind you of your person or help you release emotion.
- Paint or draw what grief feels like – not what it looks like, but what it feels like inside your chest or stomach.
- Write poetry, song lyrics, or short stories that capture your memories.
- Make a collage or digital scrapbook of photos and favorite quotes.
These kinds of creative outlets help you process emotions at your own pace. They don’t have to be shared or perfect – they just have to be real.
3. Create Rituals of Connection
Rituals can help you stay connected to the people or moments you’ve lost while also helping you feel grounded in the present.
Some teen-friendly ideas include:
- Lighting a candle, wearing a piece of jewelry, or carrying something that reminds you of your loved one.
- Visiting a special place, like a favorite park or hiking trail, to reflect or talk to them in your mind.
- Creating an annual ritual – planting a flower, baking their favorite food, or doing something they loved on their birthday.
- Sharing stories, memories, or photos with friends or family when you feel ready.
These small actions create meaning and give grief a rhythm, so it doesn’t feel so unpredictable.
4. Find Movement That Feels Good
Grief can live in your body – through tension, exhaustion, or restlessness. Movement can help release some of that energy, even when you don’t feel like doing much.
Try gentle, grounding things like:
- Walking or sitting outside
- Stretching, yoga, or breathing exercises
- Dancing to music that matches your mood
- Playing a sport, if that feels good to you
The goal isn’t to distract yourself but to give your body a way to move through the feelings that words can’t carry.
5. Connect With People Who Get It
Grief can make you feel isolated, especially if it seems like everyone else has moved on. Talking with someone who truly listens, like a friend, teacher, family member, or therapist, can help. Grief groups can also be a helpful place to connect with others who truly get it.
At Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting, we offer in-person therapy for teens and adolescents in Durham and virtual sessions across North Carolina, Virginia, and South Carolina. Our therapists create spaces that are:
- LGBTQIA+ celebratory and affirming
- Neuroaffirming and sensory-sensitive
- Trauma-informed and gentle
You don’t have to have the “right” words or know what you want to say. Therapy can be a space to figure it out together.
6. Give Yourself Permission to Feel
There’s no timeline for grief — and no emotion that’s “wrong.” You might feel sad, angry, numb, or even relieved. All of that is normal. You can still laugh, have fun, and live your life — joy doesn’t mean you’ve stopped caring.
Try reminding yourself:
“My grief and my happiness can exist at the same time.”
That balance — holding both — is part of healing.
Being Kinder to Yourself When You’re Hurting
Self-compassion is key for anyone grieving. This means treating yourself with as much gentleness and patience as you might offer a hurting friend. There are no extra points for “toughing it out” or hiding from your own pain.
Take a look at your thoughts. Are you pressuring yourself to feel better, or blaming yourself for how you’re coping? Try making room for all feelings, even the messy or confusing ones. Grief is not something to fix or rush through.
This kind of compassion matters for everyone, including Autistic folks and LGBTQIA+ teens. Neuroaffirming therapy for adolescents and teens, as well as LGBTQIA+ celebratory support, creates a space where all identities are welcomed. No one should have to hide or shape themselves in order to receive healing care.
If you are a parent supporting a grieving kid or teen, practicing self-compassion for yourself and your child matters just as much. Every family’s grief will unfold differently.
The Power of Meaningful Rituals
Rituals can offer structure when grief feels like it’s pulling things apart. These can be spiritual or cultural, or simply personal traditions that have meaning for you.
Some find comfort lighting a candle, sharing a memory, or planting a flower on an important date. Others write letters to a loved one, create art, or keep a special memento nearby. What matters is that the ritual feels true to you.
Families may share these moments together, a short walk, sharing stories, or making art as a way to honor someone. For parents and caregivers, participating in family or perinatal therapy can help when supporting grieving children.
Rituals help turn heaviness into something you can hold. They allow you to grieve and connect at the same time.
Finding Steady Support Through Grief
Grief can bring up new questions about who you are or how to cope with changes. It’s not something to fix, but to move through over time.
Support can take many forms. Some find it in group spaces where shared experience lightens the load. Others prefer individual therapy. Mental health evaluations, especially those tied to court or family changes, can help bring clarity and care during stressful, changing times. For anyone needing a comprehensive neuroaffirming approach, evaluations with Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting center your lived experience and identity.
We provide both individual therapy and group support for grief in North Carolina. Our Durham location offers in-person sessions, and we hold virtual sessions for those throughout North Carolina, Virginia, and South Carolina.
Caring For Your Grief as Long as You Need
Loss can leave you feeling separate from your old life. Grief is not a problem to be solved; it shows you what you’ve loved and how you’ve changed.
Your way of grieving counts, whether you show it out loud or keep it quiet, whether the loss is fresh or years in the past. You do not have to rush or hide the process. There is nothing broken about needing support, and there is space for your story. When you’re ready to talk, to rest, or to share a memory, we are here, in Durham and virtually, so you do not have to face it all alone.
Grief can feel especially confusing and heavy for teens, and it’s not always easy to know how to support them through it. We offer both virtual sessions across North Carolina, Virginia, and South Carolina, and in-office after school and evening appointments in Durham so teens have a steady space to talk, process, and be heard. Our approach to therapy for adolescents and teens in Durham is affirming, trauma-informed, and grounded in support for neurodivergent and LGBTQIA+ identities. At Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting, we’re here to walk alongside you and your teen with care that honors who they are. Let’s talk, schedule a free 20-minute consultation today to see how we can help.
