Why New Year’s Resolutions are Trash (And What To Do Instead)

Happy New Year! It’s 2023!

New Year New Me!

Time to make some New Year’s Resolutions, right?

Maybe you’ve been thinking about starting a new business, joining a different gym, hiking the Pacific Northwest Trail, flossing twice a day, or maybe going vegan? Not so fast. Goals are great (and can be made any time of the year!) And, if we really want them to work, we need more than a quasi-symbolic date on the calendar to be our refresh – instead, we need to get SMART. That’s right, SMART goals are your roadmap for long-lasting wins and feel goods all year long. And they can be set at any time!

As  a licensed psychologist at Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting in North Carolina, I’ve written this blog for you to learn more about why I hate New Year’s Resolutions and what I think you should do instead.

New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work And Set You Up To Fail.

New Year’s Resolutions are a classic in the realm of self-improvement. New Year New Me, right? Whether you’re setting resolutions for yourself or encouraging your employees to reflect on their work over the past year, most people like to make a list of New Year’s “resolutions.” The most common goal is to lose weight, but there are many other popular resolutions that also seem like they could be useful in some way: getting more sleep, eating healthier food and improving your relationships with friends and family members.

Frankly, more sleep, eating foods that make you feel your best, and improving relationships all sound like really worthy goals. But, they are also goals that can be set any time of the year. Ideally, goalsetting can occur with someone who can hold you accountable and help you refine your goals as you experience challenges, like a therapist in North Carolina. Struggling to move your bedtime back from 1:00 AM to 10 PM overnight? A therapist can help with that! For example, a therapist in North Carolina can share a variety of sleep hygiene strategies and skills grounded in science to help you get more ZZZ’s in 2023!

Without someone to hold you accountable to your goals, and without a plan to help you make small changes over time, New Year’s Resolutions are frankly setting you up to fail.

New Year’s Resolutions Are Unrealistic And Make You Feel Crappier

The problem with New Year’s Resolutions (and any resolution for that matter) is that they don’t work for so many reasons:

  • New Year’s Resolutions are often unrealistic – I don’t care who you are, you are not going to be able to run a marathon in February 2023 if you haven’t been running regularly in 2022. Likewise, it is going to be pretty difficult to go full-on vegan if you’ve never dabbled in meatless Mondays and done some reading and research. To meet goals, you have to start with small and realistic “mini-goals,” like running once or twice a week for 15 minutes, and trying out Meatless Monday!
  • New Year’s Resolutions can be too ambitious – I think we all know (and maybe even are, or have been, or are planning on being) the person who, January 1st, is going to go vegan, drink 100 ounces of water, get 8 hours of sleep, floss twice a day, moisturize, and work out 5 days a week for 90 minutes. And I think we all know (and maybe even are, or have been, or will be) that person who stops by January 6th. That person has set themselves up to fail combining too many large goals into one “New Year’s Resolution.” Habits are made by small, consistent changes over time. Focusing on creating one new habit at a time is key in success. As a therapist in North Carolina, when I am goal-setting with my clients, I help them to list their goals, and then prioritize one to focus on first. We create a kick-ass, step-by-step plan to meet that goal, and have small successes along the way. Once they are feeling good about that goal, and great about themselves for sticking with it, we move on to the next goal, using the momentum from meeting the previous goal to propel us forward!
  • New Year’s Resolutions set you up to fail – If your goal is to place at the CrossFit games in 2023, but you have never stepped foot into a CrossFit gym, you probably are not going to place this year. In fact, the pressure of that goal will likely only make you more stressed out and less able to focus on your exercise routine. Instead, take a moment to think about what small steps could get you closer towards that goal without setting yourself up for failure by making it too unrealistic or overly ambitious. Try something like: “I want to join a CrossFit gym” and then “I want to go twice per week in January and February, then three times per week in March and April.” That way, if it takes longer than expected, then at least the time spent wasn’t wasted; it got you one step closer towards your ultimate goal!
  • New Year’s Resolutions don’t account for life changes – Your life circumstances can change drastically between January 2023 and even February 2023, let alone April, May, or December 2023!  You might start dating someone, you might get married, or divorced. You might lose someone close to you, maybe someone who was helping motivate you. You might gain new responsibilities at work. You might decide to start a family, or encounter trouble in doing so. Can you adjust your goals to fit these needs without feeling like a failure? Many people do not feel as though they can, and just consider not meeting goals as “giving up,” leaving themselves feeling crappier than if they did not set a goal at all.

New Year’s Resolutions are not SMART goals.

We know what you’re thinking: “Okay, so New Year’s resolutions are dead. So why would I bother setting goals at all?” Well, you’re right that they might be dying a slow death. But that doesn’t mean you can’t set goals in the first place.

We’ve got a better idea for how to set your sights on something big, and you can do it at any time of the year!

In short: Set SMART goals instead of New Year’s resolutions!

If you want to set a SMART goal January 1, 2023, that’s fine. It’s also okay to set it April 3rd, 2023, July 18th, 2024, or October 1st, 2025.

SMART Goals are better than New Year’s Resolutions

So what are SMART goals and why are they better than New Year’s Resolutions? SMART Goals are:

  • Specific: Your goal should be clearly stated and easy to understand.
  • Measurable: You should be able to measure your progress toward achieving the goal.
  • Achievable: The goal should not be beyond your capacity or ability, given available resources and considering the time frame in which you want it achieved.
  • Relevant: The goal is important to you personally; it is meaningful and important to your life as a whole. It needs to matter enough for you to make a real effort toward its achievement.
  • Time-bound (or “Timed”): This means that there is an end date specified for achieving this goal (for example, by July 31st).

A Therapist in North Carolina Can Help You With Your SMART Goals!

For many people, the New Year feels like a great time to set goals. And maybe it is! But, it is not the only time to set goals, and no matter when you are setting goals, I encourage you to set them SMART! Although it can be tempting to try and make big changes right away, this rarely works out in your favor. Instead, spend some time thinking about what you want your life to look like and how you would like it change over time.

If this feels overwhelming, seek assistance from an online therapist in North Carolina! Be BOLD Psychology and Consulting has several clinicians who specializes in life transitions and goal-setting, and are trained in helping clients identify, set, and achieve their SMART goals!

Our team of therapists in North Carolina offer free 20-minute consultations for you to assess goodness of fit and ask any questions you may have about SMART goals and goal-setting, scheduling, rates, and availability. Schedule your free 20-minute consult with one of our online therapists in North Carolina by clicking here!

Alternatively, feel free to email us at info@beboldpsychnc.com or text/call 919-525-1873. We cannot wait to get your year, and your goals, started and finished! Let’s ring in 2023 together, and let us help you make 2023 your best year yet. See you soon!

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